the greatest test in love ; TIME .

omg ! Initial D is so inspiring !!! i wanna be a car racer !

first of all , tmr is ss paper and im not proud to say that it's been long since i open my ss textbook . next ,i want to really really get my sight-reading and aural quite done first and improve on my piano technique , cause i can't wait to start on a new instrument ! i have many imagination actually . for example , dancing like michael jackson ? hahaha . i think i will try to practice some of his moves , haha . next , i want to have as many skills as i can !!! but i will bear in mind that , better to be a master at a thing , than an amateur at everything =) So all i got to do is , polish , polish and polish . The rest are all nonsense and bullshit to me . I want to become many things , dermatologist , movie-maker , writer , doctor and accountant . But of all things , i would like to be a musician the most . We can have many interest , but we only can have one love .

Meeting a wise person in life to give you a wise and critical advice is really something invaluable and you should thank god for that , and , i need one now , where do i find this prophet... i am in a whirl . i lost myself .

Grade 8 results
- 1st piece : 29/30
- 2nd piece : 27/30
- 3rd piece : 25/30

- Scales : 20/21

-Sight-reading : 15/21

-Aural : 9/18

Total : 125/150 (Merit)

First of all , how ironic life can be , just when you thought you have screwed the exams , it turns out to be the opposite . Things are too unpredictable , now , the sun might be bright , the next moment you realise it is pouring like a waterfall . Don't assume things will always turn out to be what you expected and don't put too much hope into it , just like what i did for my grade 8 exam . When i got back my results and found out that i pass , i wasn't like can't get to sleep for the night or really over the moon . I am happy , that's an undeniable truth but if i were to take this exam's result too hard and i failed it , i won't be able to get over it for a long period time , on the contrary , if i were to pass it , i will too be happy for a long period of time . That's the point behind things . Life is like a see-saw , when things get over-loaded on the left , it will be depressed to the left and contrary . It is in equilibrium just like how your secondary school's physics taught you . For instance , when you go into the casino with 100bucks and you lay down the wager with 100 and you lost it just in one game , you will break-down , but if you were to win the game , you will be happy as a lark . Same goes to when you only lay down 1buck and you lost it , you feel nothing cause you know you still have got 99buck on hand but if you were to win it , it's only 1buck and you will feel nothing as well because you came in with 100 and it just become 101 bucks .The whole point behind this is , the harder you take things , the harder you will be able to get out of which is bad because you won't be happy . Now , NAFA , i am approaching .

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I wonder how long can i take this stress , i will try my best for as long as i could , perhaps one day i won't feel that way anymore , when that day comes it is either i have given all my heart to you or i have withdrawn all my love from you . Hopefully it won't turn out to be the latter . Maturity is what i am after for . I don't mind your past . Who doesn't have history ? But prove to me you have grow up .

a thousand thought in my mind . a million words to speak . a minor setback yet a major fall . endless possibilities and a thousand uncertainties . feeling grateful at the same time grudge-full . What the hell on earth makes us humans . life is a game given by god for us to play and this game leads us to a question , are you game for it ? No ? then out you go . nobody's gonna give a shit about you , the sun still rise and the moon still shine . an eliminate-e is just like a crushed ant , insignificant to anything . Giving up the game is your decision , even if you lose , you can still press the restart button again and again . because the good thing about life game is that it gives you infinite chips for you to play around with . Use it wisely or else getting back the chips that you have lost will be even a steeper task when one day you finally realise you want it back . Games aren't that hard to play , follow rules and be a good player . A good player means winning with no arrogance , losing without despairing . Arrogant ? how long can you remain arrogant ? what if the next round you lost ? Despair ? how long could you despair ? Easy to express it in words , hard to put it in action . Who can say that when they lost they don't feel anything , unless right from the start winning is nothing to them as well . It's normal to despair but don't leave a scar behind . It's normal to be down but mind the tasks on hand . Game in life is a test for everyone , the exams is when your life comes to an end and the question will be , '' Are you happy in this life ? ''

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Grade 8 is finally over . I'm so mentally prepared for the results . I should be . Let's talk about the day . Bad in the first half , Good in the second and the entire exam time is the last part of the first half . Let's talk about the examiner's face . Cant he at least smile to me ? Just look at the physique will scare the hell out of you , weighing at least 100kg and standing at 2m tall is actually pretty intimidating . i swear , just picture it out in your mind , it's like a nightmare . No smile written on his face and zero marks for his facial features . I think he is going to give me zero mark for my exam so i gave him the zero mark first . SingaporeSymphonyOrchestra only thought of the music examiners ? how humid they are ? how about the candidates ? The examiner is thrice the size of mine and look , cover every single part of his body so tightly as if going to swim . He adjust the room temperature to i presume at least 15 degrees , but look at me , freezing inside . I am the actually the V.I.P because i pay for the exam , and the examiner gets paid , i should have the priorities for the temperature in the room !!! And my aural test is a humiliating failure , same goes for my sight-reading . Next , i felt a twinge of hostility about the examiner perhaps i am too paranoid . Ok , and thank you sirin roslan for accompanying me to the exam , really calm me down tons . She's a gift from god , thank you god , i will treasure this present well .

i'm in a mess , everything is all over the place , i need someone , someone who can advice me on what to do now badly . Why am i worrying things that i shouldn't worry about and leave the important things aside . I kept telling myself , what is real , practical , what is perhaps a short fantasy , but i just can't help myself . I hope that few years down the road , everything i am doing now is worthwhile of my time , of the stresses they gave me . Why ? shouldn't now with someone by your side , you would have someone to talk to , someone to turn to , someone to run to and someone to pour out everything inside you ? I really can hardly bear with it , can you pull me up from it and i would thank you after that . Everything now is as important to me , giving up one is to give everything up . i swear every single thing is as important , but do you know how i am feeling ? How paranoid can i be , if i were to carry on this way , i'm sure one day you will get sick of it and bid farewell to me . This is the last thing that i want , and i praying everyday this day will never ever come . Perhaps everything needs time and experience which i have none . I knew what to do now , but i just can't put it to act . Can you guide me along ? Can you be patience with me ? Can you tolerate me ? Can you understand me ? I guess i am out of my mind to be so into you . All this is beyond my control , i told myself to hold back , but it just went on and on . Why did you tell me that you aren't good enough for me ? Is this how you should do when you are in love ? To see whose better for who ? No . I want to share with you my world , but you wouldn't . Tell me again how much i mean to you will you ? Tell me again that i can be assured to be with you will you ? Tell me again you are happy when you are with me will you ? Tell me again not to hide a thing from you will you ? Can you tell me what is this now , i am dying to know ...

so sorry that i'm not a mind reader .

I really feel like giving up everything at times , it is like stepping on the acceleration pad occasionally and the car moves a little at a time and stops . This can't go on , i well aware of that since starting of the year , but now , 1 month is all i am left with . Optimism left me , pessimism greeted me , good times says bye , hard times says hi which i don't understand why . All this was initiated by me . If 2 years ago i didn't choose to pick up on music , it definitely won't be like this now . If i had worked hard since primary school and built a strong foundation , it definitely won't be that hard now . If you didn't left us years ago , it is going to be so different now . If you didn't do that to her years ago , she definitely will be with us now . If she is with us now , i don't know what will be of us . Everything seems to drain away from my life , fortunately the major things are still with me . I know that at every stage of everyone's life , problems are inevitable , problems are solvable . Now my problem is i don't have the question , i have none . I don't know how far i can still run , i don't know how much energy i am left with but i know that i will have to face it someday . It is when you are encountering difficulties , you will realise who are the ones you can rely on and count on them in the future . Just a simple gesture like pulling you up when you are feeling down really mean a lot . Thank god for bestowing such a friend to me . 'What seems tragic now may not even be an issue in 1o years time ' , i got this quote from a novel which i personally think its quite meaningful . 'I felt sorry for myself when i had no shoes until i met a man who had no feet' , this sentence conveys impeccably how i am feeling now .

I didn't know life throws me such a curve ball at this moment of time , now that i am on the field , all i can do is to catch it with all my might . Don't always plan too far ahead because you will never know what may turn out to be in between . Yes , have a goal , nothing wrong with that , it is an indicator but not a route . As long as you have direction , you wont go wrong . The indicators acts as a yardstick , whenever you pass by your checkpoint , you will know you are on the right track . Even if you miss one of those checkpoints , fear not , as long as you have the drive , you can still find back your directions. The thing is if you don't move , don't even mention direction , you don't even have the map anymore . Now that i have the map , i am figuring where , how and who to go with .

i can manage .

Human beings are all the same , no matter how evil this person is , he or she still has a side of buddha , no matter how good the other person is , he or she still has a side of monster . This is human , our heart have both black and white colour just like a 八卦 (the black and white symbol for taoism ) . In short , there are no 'good' people or 'bad' people , only simply human is what we are . Actually life should be very simple just like a 八卦 , with only 2 colours , black and white . The more simple it is , the more easier we will be contented and thus , the more happy we will be . Isn't that so ?

HI ALL ~ today i encounter a thing , a thing that is lacking in most of us . Am waiting for the bus to come , it was raining , not quite heavy though . When the bus came , a middle-aged woman shielded her umbrella for every boarding passengers , and when i say every , it means every single one . she hastily asked all to come up while she stands at the bus steps . All are strangers , not necessary to do so because the rain isn't real heavy , for her , this is love for others , this is benevolence , only with benevolence then we will care for people around us not to mention even strangers . I admire this woman for her way of life , these people enjoy an inner happiness . People nowadays only got more unsatisfied as they are always comparing themselves with others , wealth , beauty and all the luxury in life . This people hardly experience true inner happiness . Everyone wish to be happy , but not everyone knows what is the meaning of happiness , you can derive happiness from anything , even from just eating plain rice everyday and plain water . It is how you want to see things . In short , ' your eyes see what your heart sees ' - by confucius . I personally think that confucius is an extraordinary master in his time , including many others like sun tzu . They are humans that are sent by god to teach ordinary people how to lead an ordinary life , they are not mere prophets , they are god in disguise . After reading this 10 million-copy international best-seller about confucius written by a woman named yu dan , it is not mere words that could describe this man . This book is simply written , easy to understand but it lies a profound meaning which will leave you contemplate momentarily . It covers almost all the essential lesson of a human life . Definitely worth spending half a day reading this book . More than a good 10 million people had read this book , what are you waiting for ? This can be easily grabbed at the popular bookstore for just EIGHTEEN ninety-five , and the cover looks like this ,

Appealing isn't it ? and karate kid is interesting =) take my word for that .

went to malaysia yesterday , it has been ages since i went to my dad's garden , as usual , everything is the same , everything . during noon , i went to the toilet and found my dad inside so i waited outside , he told me there's a small snake inside and ask me to be fast . i am wondering how many people in this world are living in such environment worst than this , and i know there are many , their life is a tragedy but yet they continue living even braver than us . People are sad over breaking up with their boyfriends over such minor things which they can even end their life . Youngsters take up drugs and all sorts of nonsense because they are stress or for whatever reasons they called it , shouldn't they feel contented that they are in singapore and they have many more things in life which other people doesn't have ? don't they think they should be grateful to god for giving them a life better than people who lives in place worst than hell ? Humans shouldn't be so weak , i realize only people who have been through real hardship knows the true purpose of life . we are way too fortunate peoples , things are within our control , but we can always hold on it firmly , whether or not it drops , you will feel a sense of satisfaction for at least giving your real best . Life is a marathon , speed is not the crucial factor to complete the race , determination is . one more thing that i came to think of is about business , business is like a war , only the shrewdest and the smartest can win the war , only people who can give up their conscience can survive in the business world , in short , business will take a party life because in a war , there is only 1 survivor . One more thing , i think the that god is the noblest humanity ever existed . His mind is an emptiness , nothing else . Any one can live w/o food , water or sleep ? anyone can live w/o having lust for love or money ? Anyone can sit under a damn tree and for his/her entire lifetime ? Anyone can achieve nirvana like what god did ? In humans mind there is full of thoughts , good and bad both . It is impossible to say that a human is thoroughly kind-hearted or thoroughly a good samaritan . Because we are human beings . i am going to end my post here , before that i have got some picture of true artistry to show ... below are some orchids taken from my dad's garden , anyone who is interested in buying large quantities of orchids or any enquiries , you may call 94280566 . ( in large quantities , if small , self-collect at Bukit Batok St33 . BEST ORCHIDS IN SINGAPORE AND J.B , SOME SAY ONE-OF-A KIND IN THE WORLD .

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alright , after a 2 months break , school has reopened , no choice , study . i really hope to have a new piano , one that can last me for sometime . unfortunately , i made a wrong decision to repair a new piano 2 years back then , piano still a leisure for me , simply leisure . counting down the days to get my GD5 theory cert ! cant feel more ' e ' . counting down the days to my GD8 exam as well , no more time to waste .